Some of you may be familiar with the labels: Ultra Nerd & Free Spirit, as being a part of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. My Hubby & I were literally laughing out loud so hard that our sides hurt when we watched the lesson about the Nerd & the Free Spirit.
There is a small quiz you can take that helps you identify which you are. You can take it for yourself, here!
My Hubby ended up at the far end of the spectrum as an Ultra Nerd. I landed in the middle, which he said couldn’t possibly be true. He believes I’m on the opposite side of the spectrum as him, & am a full-blown Free-Spirit. lol
We are certainly different, I won’t argue that! Because of our differences, it has made budgeting a challenge. Until now. Dave referenced a quote in this particular lesson, that I just loved:
“Opposites attract. If two people just alike get married, one of you is unnecessary.” Larry Burkett
I often talk & write about how as a married couple we have the ability to see the bigger picture by putting our personal pieces of the picture together. If you both have the same side of the picture, you will need to work even harder to find out what the rest of the bigger picture looks like.
The thing about seeing things differently is that it may take awhile to respect the view of your partner that differs from your own. You know your truth. Great! But what is your spouse’s truth?
Getting to the place where you accept the following fact is a HUGE key to your success in life & relationships:
I may not understand.
I don’t have to.
I respect you & your thoughts/feelings/perspectives anyway.
Here’s the idea that Dave presents, but in my own words: Women have an imaginary organ that tenses up when money or savings isn’t where they feel it should be. Essentially, they don’t feel secure. If the man learns to save money in a way that will help bring their wife peace, he will quickly learn that this will cause her to relax in a place he doesn’t even have.
Often times we get caught up trying to figure out right or wrong without realizing that often, not always, there isn’t a right or a wrong, but a different. One person may see taking the shortest route from point a to b as the best choice, every time. While your partner willingly takes the scenic route every single time & finds it equally beneficial. Right or wrong? No. Different.
& Different is okay! Great even! You don’t have to understand why someone would willingly take the longest path to get somewhere when it is so inefficient! But you should respect it. Dare I say you should even try it sometime! Because trying to see things from the perspective of our partner is what helps us connect & allows us to be well-rounded individuals.
We all have different views on:
However, I believe that most of the time we all want the same thing. We just get caught up feeling super passionate about our own way to accomplish it. An obvious example of this currently is school shootings…
We all want the same thing. For our kids to stay alive. For our kids to be safe when we send them to school. There are a handful of ways that the masses think we can accomplish this. My Facebook newsfeed is splattered with opposite opinions of what the “best” solution is.
Yes, unfortunately, it’s unrealistic to expect that we will ever come together & try to find a solution that we can all feel comfortable with. I get that. But I also get that just because it may never happen, doesn’t let us off the hook from trying.
Trying to please everyone? No. That is definitely impossible.
But trying to encourage people to humble themselves & see where others are coming from. Agreeing to compromise as best as they can. To actually listen to hear those who have opposite opinions. This should be a feasible goal.
Did you know that listening openly to someone with a differing opinion doesn’t mean that you will be cast under some spell or made to change your mind?? Gasp!
Kindness. This is what bridges the gap between the ultra nerd & the free spirit. Together they can help one another live the best possible life. However, they can only accomplish this by respecting each other & combining their “powers”. An Ultra Nerd helps the couple save, so they can retire & leave an inheritance to their children. While the free spirit helps the couple to live life & relax a bit so that when looking back they can see a life fully lived & enjoyed. What a beautiful thing to have both!
You can’t have a well-rounded life with your partner if you are set on doing things only your way & going into battle mode anytime they disagree.
Are you willing to be secure enough to have a conversation with others about differing opinions?
Do you see you & your spouse as a “Dream Team”, both bringing something different to the table, creating a powerful feast?
Are you an ultra nerd? Free spirit?
Celebrate your strengths in those things! Remember that in a marriage balance between the two is definitely worth the work.
My Hubby & I sat on the couch laughing at the different quirks our personalities bring to our marriage. Pointing out our differences wasn’t alienating, it was helpful, fun even! I love how nerdy my Hubby is, most of the time. 😉 Most importantly I appreciate that we have the components necessary for beautiful success if we choose to work together instead of against one another. & I believe you do as well!
Let’s keep moving forward toward unity, embracing & even celebrating our differences.