There is a line in a song by Citizen Way that tears me up every. single. time I hear it.
When I’m with you
I feel the real me finally breaking through
It’s all because of you, Jesus
Anytime, anywhere, any heartache
I’m never too much for you to take
There’s only love
There’s only grace
When I’m with you
There are so many outside factors that try to tell us something different. We find it easy to start believing that we are: too awkward, too honest, too liberal, too conservative, too wrapped up in Momming, too driven, too tired, too plain, too extra, too emotional, too tough, too this, too that, too much….the list goes on…& we just keep adding to it.
What am I too much for? Other people.
Maybe I told one too many jokes for anyone to take me seriously.
Maybe I jumped into deep conversation waaaaay too quickly to be seen as relatable or fun.
Maybe I’m so busy running after my kids & trying to stop them from tearing down wherever we are at that I’m seen as unapproachable or even too stern.
Maybe I’m letting my kids tear down the place & am seen as disrespectful or aloof.
Maybe I’m crying over what appears to be nothing & that makes others uncomfortable.
Maybe I feel passionate about something that others don’t feel is a big deal.
Maybe I had so much to say in such a little amount of time that I spoke too fast & people just want to give me a chill pill.
Maybe in trying to be confident in my work & myself, I’ve come across as arrogant.
Each of these thoughts has run through my head @ one time or another…actually this was just a small recap of me…last week. & believe me, my list could keep going!
So when I hear that line: I’m never too much for you to take. My eyes water.
Me, Sarah. I’m not too quirky, odd, loud, passionate, energetic, accepting, or friendly for God….or for the people that choose to love me.
& yes, there are people that choose to love me & there are people that love you!
That statement gets easier the more times I type it, but it still goes against so many statements & questions that have filled my head for years. Today though, I tell myself that despite whatever mess I’m currently managing in my life: I am lovable.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! Psalms 139:17-18a
So are you friends! You are so very lovable.
You, just as you are today. Not the “fixed” version. Not the you, that you will become. Not the less stressed version of yourself. You, stressed out, insecure, crazed Mom, are lovable.
I hope this week, when your questions start to arise, you remind yourself of that, because I’m going to!
Let’s keep moving forward, loving others & allowing ourselves to receive the same love in return.
The Mess in Me Honors the Mess in You